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An excerpt of Within Reach 


No entitlements

No rights

Teetering on the outer fringes of life,

Who would want to lean their bodies into someone so undefinable, so open, so vulnerable?

Who would want to know a man or woman trapped in unknown physical spaces of the universe?



Our voices drowned out by those who know better,

By those who claim to know the answers to sexuality and gender

Politicians and conservatives with their narrow-minded views on who we are,  

Truly try to rule over us with an iron fist but we will always fight back,

We will persevere and continue to strive for the lives we desire and deserve,

We will fight for our rights as part of the human race,

Those in power preach equality but act in accordance to their own fears and have tried to bend us to their will and leave us to be broken by the strongest of men

The strongest of women

Or the strongest of universal forces

No space to breathe,

No space to feel

The only place in sight is

Falling into an abyss of nothing,

Scraping the surface of our skin and making ourselves bleed,

A flame diminished before it could lap up the oxygen it needs

A beating heart told not to believe itself

A tired mind told that life is for a conservative world where narrow walls cave in on the brave,

Where carbon dioxide steels the sanity from your mind

Fight back, always fight back

Fight for what you believe in,

for your right to hear your own heartbeat

Your right to love,

Your right to live,

Your right to a bright a future and

Our human rights

© H.S. Botha (2017)

All rights reserved


A New Enlightened Age

Essay II


Why? I hear you ask. You ask again, 'but why?'
I don’t have a clear answer for you, but I know this for sure:

My research studies seem to have brought my view of life and the world full circle. I did not know when I started my Honours degree in music and emotion, that I had started to dig into my own sense of self, self-worth, religion, history or the world artists live in. I merely wanted to know what the benefits are of atonal textural pieces of music in the emotional lives of listeners. Every article I have read and every student I have tutored brought me a step closer to my own enlightenment.

I considered the beginning of sound, how and where it ends and if it ends at all. I have delved into the continuation of sound events and found that the non-existent silences John Cage spoke of, are in reality textured moments or events that occur every minute of every day. I came in contact with Buddhism and had to throw out the academic notions surrounding my study and found the very fabric that life is built upon. As each sound event occurs or begins, life begins. As each sound continues to move along the trajectory it was intended for, life also moves forward and morphs into new avenues and unknown or unheard-of places. As each sound event comes to an end, life also ends. As life ends, another life starts, because every minute of every day somewhere in the world a newborn child comes into being. The child then takes on a life that seeks fulfillment and meaning.

I had a close look at texture in each and every sound event and found the very fabric of my own being. At the same point in time, in the year 2017 I could almost reach out and touch every sound and metaphorical silence. Now it seems as if I can taste each sound event, on the tip of my tongue, I feel it underneath my skin, in my chest, heartbeat and breath. Each and every moment become more overwhelming than the one before. I began this project at the end of 2015 and over time it has opened a trap door in my mind and in the process, I have found myself over the last two and a half years. The experience even more intense and penetrating than what my Honours study was. This project has become a metaphorical lifeline that has mapped out the beginning of an enlightened road of discovery for me. I can see for the first time in my 40 years of life how badly the world is in need of honesty, kindness, truthful souls and meaningful relationships. We need artists, poets, healers and carers from all walks of life to bring a new balance to this broken world.

I am bringing my voice as a transgender individual
who have a longstanding dialogue with life and
death to the table. I am here to be a part of a new
enlightened age. An age and time where money,
social status, conservatism, neo-liberalism and
more, need to crumble in the wake of a social revolution.

I represent my transgender, LGBTQIA+ and artistic community. I want to urge those around me to create new space for themselves, fill in your knowledge gaps, do not be left behind and not know what emotional freedom is. Finding our true purpose are essential to our survival and for future generations. We need to tear down the walls that separate us from each other and bring back the kindness, care and patience our society is crying out for. I will continue my conversation with life and death for now, because for me it is about understanding, thinking critically about the world and bringing much needed positive change to my community. Our time is running out, what are you willing to bring to this age of new beginnings? What are you willing do for those around you? We need to find our enlightenment and purpose before it is too late.


© H.S. Botha (2017)
All rights reserved



Pitch Black



Lost in spheres of emptiness,

Found in the light of colours


Shaped in the likeness of him


Lost in black holes of silence,

Found inside brightness of the sun


Shaped in the likeness of him


Lost in the stillness of her voice,

Found inside the warmth of her shell


Shaped in the likeness of him


Defied in the hopes of her dreams,

Found in the pit of her always present self


Shaped in the likeness of him


Screaming in her darkness,

Singing in the light of her eyes


Always shaped in the likeness of him


© H.S. Botha (2018) 

All rights reserved 



Walking along a beaten down road

He finds the shape of him,


His voice begins

His body follows

His inner-self set free,


The motion of him 

His senses renewed,


His touch a familiar place

Knowing what tomorrow could bring,


Reaching a fork in the road

He reaches out to the universe and know he is found.

© H.S. Botha (2018) 

All rights reserved