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An excerpt of Within Reach 


No entitlements

No rights

Teetering on the outer fringes of life,

Who would want to lean their bodies into someone so undefinable, so open, so vulnerable?

Who would want to know a man or woman trapped in unknown physical spaces of the universe?



Our voices drowned out by those who know better,

By those who claim to know the answers to sexuality and gender

Politicians and conservatives with their narrow-minded views on who we are,  

Truly try to rule over us with an iron fist but we will always fight back,

We will persevere and continue to strive for the lives we desire and deserve,

We will fight for our rights as part of the human race,

Those in power preach equality but act in accordance to their own fears and have tried to bend us to their will and leave us to be broken by the strongest of men

The strongest of women

Or the strongest of universal forces

No space to breathe,

No space to feel

The only place in sight is

Falling into an abyss of nothing,

Scraping the surface of our skin and making ourselves bleed,

A flame diminished before it could lap up the oxygen it needs

A beating heart told not to believe itself

A tired mind told that life is for a conservative world where narrow walls cave in on the brave,

Where carbon dioxide steels the sanity from your mind

Fight back, always fight back

Fight for what you believe in,

for your right to hear your own heartbeat

Your right to love,

Your right to live,

Your right to a bright a future and

Our human rights

© H.S. Botha (2017)

All rights reserved


A New Enlightened Age

Essay I

It was a warm autumn morning when the most unexpected decision of

my life pierced through my mind, as if to awaken me from a deep slumber.


I have been in deep thought about many things in this life, and the first and foremost challenge is how society has changed in the last eighteen years. Technology has truly become the bane of our existence. We are losing the ability to communicate with one another, friendships have become superficial and money seem to be the sole object to entrance the masses. Isolation is at the order of the day, ignorance, denial, anger towards governing agencies, and “the busy life” have reshaped our world.


Amidst all these albeit obvious changes in the world, I found myself lost in my desire for freedom, light and simplicity. It was obvious that my life has become a time of discovery and deeper meaning. I thought of Buddha as he found his own enlightenment between the 6th and 4th century. I have considered the Age of Enlightenment in the 18th century, how this influenced the arts, politics and sciences. Through these way finding thoughts I found that the wisdom of so many centuries past have become valid in the 21st century. These small reminders have brought me to the biggest moment of my life where I am redefining my own gender boundaries and finding a place of contentment in my own physical and emotional spheres.


I am asking questions about the genetics of gender and in a way, looking beyond what we already know about these stereotypical roles society have boxed all of us into. This brings me to my first theory in relation to the transgender identity. This albeit small percentage of our society are embracing a part of their own selves in order to find fulfilment and purpose. We are sending a message, that is to a certain extent still new to a great deal of our society. My own short-lived experience over the last ten months as a transgender individual have brought the following musing to the forefront of my life:


Transitioning is so much more than taking hormones and undergoing plastic surgery to align oneself with the gender one identifies with. In some cases, it is about self-perseverance, for some these actions improves longevity, thereby extending one’s life. At the same time though, transitioning should be considered from an enlightened point of view: Those of us who have been privileged to unearth such deeply hidden secrets and desires from our mind and body represent a fraction of society who have awakened to the truth about the human race, we are all male, we are all female, and there is no such thing as a “gender” label. We have woken from the hypnotic slumber of our existence. What we see is an age and time where advancement of the whole self is paramount to our survival. We are risking being whole in a world where so many of us are broken and down trodden. We give hope where it may be lost, and it drives fear and uncertainty into those who are still complacent and ignorant about their own existence. Like Buddha, I have found my tree, I am sitting down, taking a breath and becoming one with my true self. Don’t be afraid of me, or those who are risking it all to find happiness, love and faith in what is to come. Learn from us and allow yourself to embark on your own road to enlightenment. 

© H.S. Botha (2018) 

All rights reserved 


Pitch Black



Lost in spheres of emptiness,

Found in the light of colours


Shaped in the likeness of him


Lost in black holes of silence,

Found inside brightness of the sun


Shaped in the likeness of him


Lost in the stillness of her voice,

Found inside the warmth of her shell


Shaped in the likeness of him


Defied in the hopes of her dreams,

Found in the pit of her always present self


Shaped in the likeness of him


Screaming in her darkness,

Singing in the light of her eyes


Always shaped in the likeness of him


© H.S. Botha (2018) 

All rights reserved 



Walking along a beaten down road

He finds the shape of him,


His voice begins

His body follows

His inner-self set free,


The motion of him 

His senses renewed,


His touch a familiar place

Knowing what tomorrow could bring,


Reaching a fork in the road

He reaches out to the universe and know he is found.

© H.S. Botha (2018) 

All rights reserved