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Empty Time


 

Empty space


Empty time



When to leave


When to stay



When to cry


When to lie


When your soul will fly


© H.S. Botha (2017)

All rights reserved

 

A New Enlightened Age


Essay II

 

Why? I hear you ask. You ask again, 'but why?'
I don’t have a clear answer for you, but I know this for sure:

My research studies seem to have brought my view of life and the world full circle. I did not know when I started my Honours degree in music and emotion, that I had started to dig into my own sense of self, self-worth, religion, history or the world artists live in. I merely wanted to know what the benefits are of atonal textural pieces of music in the emotional lives of listeners. Every article I have read and every student I have tutored brought me a step closer to my own enlightenment.

I considered the beginning of sound, how and where it ends and if it ends at all. I have delved into the continuation of sound events and found that the non-existent silences John Cage spoke of, are in reality textured moments or events that occur every minute of every day. I came in contact with Buddhism and had to throw out the academic notions surrounding my study and found the very fabric that life is built upon. As each sound event occurs or begins, life begins. As each sound continues to move along the trajectory it was intended for, life also moves forward and morphs into new avenues and unknown or unheard-of places. As each sound event comes to an end, life also ends. As life ends, another life starts, because every minute of every day somewhere in the world a newborn child comes into being. The child then takes on a life that seeks fulfillment and meaning.

I had a close look at texture in each and every sound event and found the very fabric of my own being. At the same point in time, in the year 2017 I could almost reach out and touch every sound and metaphorical silence. Now it seems as if I can taste each sound event, on the tip of my tongue, I feel it underneath my skin, in my chest, heartbeat and breath. Each and every moment become more overwhelming than the one before. I began this project at the end of 2015 and over time it has opened a trap door in my mind and in the process, I have found myself over the last two and a half years. The experience even more intense and penetrating than what my Honours study was. This project has become a metaphorical lifeline that has mapped out the beginning of an enlightened road of discovery for me. I can see for the first time in my 40 years of life how badly the world is in need of honesty, kindness, truthful souls and meaningful relationships. We need artists, poets, healers and carers from all walks of life to bring a new balance to this broken world.

I am bringing my voice as a transgender individual
who have a longstanding dialogue with life and
death to the table. I am here to be a part of a new
enlightened age. An age and time where money,
social status, conservatism, neo-liberalism and
more, need to crumble in the wake of a social revolution.

I represent my transgender, LGBTQIA+ and artistic community. I want to urge those around me to create new space for themselves, fill in your knowledge gaps, do not be left behind and not know what emotional freedom is. Finding our true purpose are essential to our survival and for future generations. We need to tear down the walls that separate us from each other and bring back the kindness, care and patience our society is crying out for. I will continue my conversation with life and death for now, because for me it is about understanding, thinking critically about the world and bringing much needed positive change to my community. Our time is running out, what are you willing to bring to this age of new beginnings? What are you willing do for those around you? We need to find our enlightenment and purpose before it is too late.

 

© H.S. Botha (2017)
All rights reserved





  

 


Open

 

Endless space


Open silence


Rustling of leaves


Fluttering of butterflies


A circled moon shining brightly in the night sky

 

Secretive tales told in the winds above


Blinking stars beckon my heart to new found shores


New found freedom


A new voice


And endless space

 

 

© H.S. Botha (2018) 

All rights reserved 





Up, Down, Through and Up Again

 

 

Upward to the stars

Upward to unknown planets

Upward towards infinity,

 

Downward to the depths of the sea

Downward to the core of our existence

Downward to fires of the damned,

 

Upward to hope

Upward to happiness

Upward to belonging

 

Downwards towards endless pain

Downwards, where voices drag you through dungeons of torture

Downwards into a pit of darkness where no-one can hear you scream,

 

Shouting into silence,

Peeling lies away from your skin,

Grieving the loss of what you thought life would be

Giving the child inside of you the voice he has craved for so long,

Shedding tears of agony

Dragging your heart by its fibres, your feet by its bones and every muscle towards freedom

 

Up,

Up,

Again, and Again…

 

Climb your mountain

Draw breath

Listen to the beating heart in your chest,

 

Up,

Up,

Again, and Again

 

Reach your peak

Reach out

Grab hold of the light and

Stand UP, AGAIN.

 

 

© H.S. Botha (2018) 

All rights reserved